Love this. When I first got into smellin', I was always looking for a novelty. Dirt by Demeter, Winter 1972 by CB I Hate Perfume. I read a book called The Perfect Scent, and I found out that none other than Sara Jessica Parker is a funk advocate (and not just because it reminds her of her childhood bedroom that was a twin sized haystack at the local 4H). She caws on about how in our age of brazillianed a-holes, massingil'd vag's, and showering twice a day, deep down, humans like the way we smell. There is a point where things can turn a bit sour, but most of us if we're honest, appreciate that sweet spot of a jog after a shower, a t shirt after a day at the beach and volleyball, the solar plexus of a tight chested hairy daddy on a hot summer sunday. Or ringside at one of those fighting programs where straight dudes cuddle and sweat on each other.
Certain funk ingrediants have always been used like musk (deer sac), civet (cat poopers), and stuff that should be funky but isn't like Ambergris (sperm whale colon blockage) that give perfumes a lived in and personal quality. These ingredients at least on a large-scale production have been replaced by synthetics, but some like ambergris are still highly prized and sells for a ton of money so somebody's using it, but not in big commercial releases.
Surely a mad scientist could concoct a man-smell (there's an anecdote in the Perfect Scent of Hermes house perfumer Jean Claud Ellena making a sweaty socks accord for his kids) and maybe he already has, but once we go photorealistic its like hey, why not just go to the source and not shower for a day or two. Or three. The thing with perfumes though is that its sometimes a story, sometimes a poem or haiku, or an impressionist painting but not so much a PBS documentary. It's grownup playtime. Its for annointing yourself, transforming into Aphrodite, Taye Diggs, or a horny Church nun. It's show time Synergy. There are however, options to dip your toe into the funk with pretend funk that can be just as seductive if you're into this kind of thing you sexy funk freaks.
Stat Libre d'Orange's Sécrétions Magnifiques: supposedly an ode to human secretions and by the reactions online to the stuff you'd think its a horror movie in a bottle. What it really is, is a white floral that has a bleachy off note that turns into the smell of hydrogen peroxide pouring over a wound into a steal sink.
Thierry Mugler's Womanity: this is a Parfum Du Maxx find (cheap). Its not like anything out there, and can be unisex. The marketing, besides the stupid name, included the note of "caviar" which made people go to vag right away. This is maybe the exact opposite of man-in-a-bottle Emerson is looking for, but it fits with the tangent I'm on. I don't get full on vag, although my better half Devin with no provocation actually said vagina when he first smelled it on me. He's been up close to vag so he's more of a vag'spert than I so I'll take his word for it.
This all to say that the closest thing I've found to man-in-a-bottle is Surge Lutens' Muscs Kublai Kahn. Its a sexy, darkly dry muscy, pretend funk that gives you the impression of getting banged by a hung nordic lumberjack on a fur rug in front of a fireplace. I have a bottle of Vintage Leather that I sometimes layer over it for the added dadda-grinding-his-jeans-into-a-leather-motorcycle-seat effect.
So work out and dont shower and put on some Muscs Kublah Kahn for that not-so-fresh but not too far gone real funk with promise of sexy adventure faux funk.
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