Sara Jessica Parker's Lovely

You know, its TRENDY so say that SJP has equinous facial features. To say she's horse-like is an easy comedic go-to and just plain lazy. So I won't 'Fumey Reader, resort to cheap shots like how Sara Jessica Parker gets her Manolos fitted at the Ye Olde Grenwich Village Blacksmith. You deserve better. Its like saying Madonna's body is gross, which like, sure, you wouldnt press a button that gave you her Italian ass and thighs, chiseled shoulders and pert tits. SJP horsiness is a straight up urban myth the opposite of how Tom Cruise nurses on Puerto Rican track-stars junk for breakfast and how Ricard Gere actually did put a gerbil up his butt. Imagine! A live Gerbil! In. HIS. BUTT.  In sum, what you're not going to get in this review is a joke about how SJP walks down cobblestone streets and poops as she goes and Mathew Broderick has to shovel it into a pale that's monogrammed SJPpp.  This is a classy blog about parfum. So no, I WON'T be telling you how SJP goes to Magnolia Bakery to carbo-load for her races or how her idea of takeout is an oatbag and apples.
So back to the task at hand. Here at Parfum du Maxx not every perfume is going to be subject of snarky ridicule. This is one of those examples. SJP's Lovely is GREAT. Many a blogger has gone on about this being unisex and I agree to a point (PS this whole idea of gender assigning fragrance is a relatively new concept and guys at one time didn't get all upitty about smelling what we'd say in present day is "feminine" AND also, avoid saying "[you] don't like perfume" because you just have smelled bad perfume for a long time so get out of your house and experience some good smells you ingrate).  Saying its unisex is limiting. Think of perfuming yourself as a surprise attack. Its the salt on your salted carmel.  A tattooed hipster in a knitting circle.  A stripper with a baby in a bar.  Imagine  Tyrese Gibson or David Beckham in a dapper suite with Chanel No5. Or a Angelina Jolie or Nicole Kidman in a gown with Serge Luten's Muscs Kubla Khan.  So men, grow a beard and spray on this cuddle-bug in a bottle. Go for the pits it makes a great deoderant. It starts off somewhat shrill which was a disappointment to me after hearing so many good things about it, but quickly dries down to laundry musk, but like, HOT laundry right out of the dryer; your favorite zippy still warm. Its a shower and then a jog, a bit personal and lived in but not dirty. Straight guys, this would be a panty dropper. It all hey babe, why don't you finish this story about your cube-mate's pen stealing while I make you dinner and do dishes. People will grab you by your collar and press their face into your chest while you're at your local Sport Bar watching a your favorite team make scores and plays in a Sport Event. You know, straight stuff. 'Fumey Reader, go to your TJ Maxx or Marshals and see if you can spot a bottle. I got mine for about $30 and have stocked up a few in reserve.