Mackie by Bob Mackie

True confession: I was a ceramics major.  I had no idea what the hell I was going to do for a living after, but I did know that on Melrose Place Heather Locklear would storm into D&D advertising in a pencil skirt and a fitted white shirt and slam her briefcase down and yell at people around the dark mahoganny table telling them not to "low-ball" her and "don't FUCK with me fellahs".  That happened right?  So yeah, I move to Chicago and actually landed an advertising job somehow that made inserts for newspapers for a department store I shouldn't name here buy I will say it rhymes with LEARS and starts with an S.  I'd ride home on the El after wringing my hands all day about some damn thing and see the subway car littered with the inserts that I stressed out about.  I was literally, literally making garbage. The confessional actually starts here as I would clock in Flinstones Style and proceed to the restroom and defecate.  Yes, I'd wait to poop because time is precious(!) and thats MY time assholes, so I'd wait to clock in so I'd get paid to poop.    This is all to say that this is Bob Mackie's version of getting paid to poop.  As a friend on Facebook pointed out, the M in Mackie really looks like a butt and butt's are where poop comes out of.  Its like this is made by Mackie with one bead of sweat coming down his odd pulled tight face and grunted and it slipped out into a toilet.  NOT a clean break.  

Mackie by Bob Mackie is in the "oriental" family and sports a laundry list of notes:

pineapple, raspberry and peach; middle notes are tuberose, orange blossom, narcissus, jasmine, ylang-ylang, rose and honeysuckle; base notes are sandalwood, amber, patchouli, musk and vetiver.

Mackie is a linear and QVC safe, with characterless musk that anchors some indiscernible stone fruit of some kind, and a nose stinging top note that smells like a cab air freshener which I get, is totally a fragrance review cliche to say that but its truly what it smells like.  Its just missing curry/meatball/hoagie farts and motion sickness.  

I just heard that Bob Mackie will not be doing Cher's costumes for her next tour which is kind of heartbreaking especially if he's dedicating his time in to endeavors like this and getting paid to poop.

I bought a 1oz bottle of Bob Mackie (distributed by Elizabeth Arden) for 7.95 at Marshalls in Gold Coast Chicago