Speaking of forehead, Tyra Banks. You know, I never thought of her a "supermodel". I saw her on the cover of Sports Illustrated and stomping down a Victoria's Secret runway in panties but that's about it. She wasn't really on my radar like such luminaries as Linda Evangalista, Cindy Crawford, or Naomi Campbell or any other model listed in the song Supermodel which was the extent of my Supermodel knowledge circa 1996.
So, in the 2000s she makes this show on the tiniest shoestring of a budget designed to take young women, exploit every drop of money making drama out of them, and spit them back out wrinkled, unable to ever get a real job, and with an often hilarious haircut and color that goes against their facial features, skin tone, and personality. Teeyie-tye would always wear these gals down to the nubbins by giving impossible advice to follow like "hey lady we picked for your exuberant personality, tone it down" and then later, "you were so boring, so dial it up, what happened to that girl with the exuberant personality", and then "you're cut , because you can't 'work' the Crystal Gale length Olgilve curled weave with the tightest of curls, shaved eyebrows, and Coco from SWV's nails; in addition you're dialed up high enough with your exuberance but what we needed was for you to tone it down".
She knew to strike when the iron's hot and pumped what seemed like 4 to 5 "cycles" a year until the whole thing puttered to a stop cartoon jalopy style. It might still be on but I can't suffer to do a google. One of the cycles had the girls shilling a parfum called Dream Come True of which they probably saw a paycheck that Tyty would use to wipe her rich-ass but then let's face it, would probably still deposit the now fecal encrusted cheque because she seems kind of on top of her finances.
One fragrance stands before me, and it smells like slouchy salt crusted vanilla Ugg boot in a bowl of berries and an un-ironic side pony. Perfect for those times when you have to pick up the shattered remains of your life, with no job prospect in sight, after being embarrassed and exploited in front of millions of people. So slather it on Millenial-Teen-Dreamer as Ty-ty laughs maniacally, puts her Ty-fingies together Smithers style, husks, "eeeeexcellleeeeent" and cashes her poo-cheque.
I got a half used 1oz tester from Marshals for like 3 dollars.
So, in the 2000s she makes this show on the tiniest shoestring of a budget designed to take young women, exploit every drop of money making drama out of them, and spit them back out wrinkled, unable to ever get a real job, and with an often hilarious haircut and color that goes against their facial features, skin tone, and personality. Teeyie-tye would always wear these gals down to the nubbins by giving impossible advice to follow like "hey lady we picked for your exuberant personality, tone it down" and then later, "you were so boring, so dial it up, what happened to that girl with the exuberant personality", and then "you're cut , because you can't 'work' the Crystal Gale length Olgilve curled weave with the tightest of curls, shaved eyebrows, and Coco from SWV's nails; in addition you're dialed up high enough with your exuberance but what we needed was for you to tone it down".
She knew to strike when the iron's hot and pumped what seemed like 4 to 5 "cycles" a year until the whole thing puttered to a stop cartoon jalopy style. It might still be on but I can't suffer to do a google. One of the cycles had the girls shilling a parfum called Dream Come True of which they probably saw a paycheck that Tyty would use to wipe her rich-ass but then let's face it, would probably still deposit the now fecal encrusted cheque because she seems kind of on top of her finances.One fragrance stands before me, and it smells like slouchy salt crusted vanilla Ugg boot in a bowl of berries and an un-ironic side pony. Perfect for those times when you have to pick up the shattered remains of your life, with no job prospect in sight, after being embarrassed and exploited in front of millions of people. So slather it on Millenial-Teen-Dreamer as Ty-ty laughs maniacally, puts her Ty-fingies together Smithers style, husks, "eeeeexcellleeeeent" and cashes her poo-cheque.
I got a half used 1oz tester from Marshals for like 3 dollars.
No comments:
Post a Comment